Saving Relationship-Why can't we Communicate |
Is learning to communicate really the key to a successful relationship?
Well, let me ask you a question; prior to your relationship crisis, did you or your partner have trouble
communicating? Of course you didn't! So, why would you need to learn how to communicate? You see, its really not
a question of improving communication skills, but rather a matter of fixing the underlying issue that caused the
communication problem!
Ironically, counseling is based on improving communication skills, but were you aware that 50% of all couples that
attend counseling end up either breaking up or getting divorced, and that less than 20% report any improvement at all?
So, is learning to communicate really the solution to having the relationship you want? Well, the answer is unequivocally
NO! In fact, its the attempts at improving communication that will destroy your relationship! When two people embark
on a mission to improve their communication skills they actually become more efficient at arguing! Now let me ask you,
do you know anyone that wants to be with someone that argues all the time???
You see, counseling often focuses on communication skills and the superficial actions and behaviors that are occurring
on the surface. However, let me assure you that there are always underlying issues that are causing these behaviors.
What self limiting beliefs, fears, or insecurities are standing in your way, and are preventing you from having the
relationship you want? Are these issues causing you difficulty in being close or intimate with your partner, or are
they causing you to be controlling or jealous? What effects have these issues had on your partners behavior? Have they
caused distancing, or even a separation!
Uncover and overcome these fears or insecurities, and the communication issue will automatically disappear!!!!
Best wishes,
David Roppo
Relationship Coach
|
|
|
