Saving a Relationship - Fears and Insecurities |
Many people inadvertently allow their own fears and insecurities to sabotage their
relationship. In essence, they become their own enemy, and cause their worst
fears to materialize!
Have you suffered from a parent abandoning you, either emotionally or
physically? Have you grown up in an environment that contained an alcoholic
parent? Have you witnessed one of your parentˇ¦s commit an act of infidelity? Has
either of your parents suffered from certain fears or insecurities, which have been
passed down to you? Frequently, these family dysfunctions cause an underlying
self limiting belief, which in turn lays the negative ground work for
unintentionally sabotaging a relationship.
You have a fear that your partner is going to leave you, and while nothing could
be further from the truth; this fear causes you to control your partners every move.
You are always suspicious of what he is doing, where he is going, and who he is
with! Out of fear you continue to make accusations that he is being unfaithful, or
that he doesnˇ¦t love you any more. One day you wake up and your worst
nightmare has come to fruition! He wants a divorce, or he has found another
partner! I have used the term fruition because that is exactly what you have asked
for; although I am sure the end result is anything but enjoyable! Forget about the
fact that his infidelity is morally wrong, but take into consideration that you
unintentionally did everything you could to harm and destroy your relationship.
And, until you realize that the change must begin on your side of the equation
nothing in your life, or your relationship will change. If this has in fact happened
to you then you have no time to waste in making these changes. Begin by drafting
a statement of agreement to present to your partner, and by all means cease your
behavior. Remember, this is just the beginning since the real change must come
from inside out!
For more information on how to draft a statement of agreement subscribe to my free E-guide "The Secret Principles"
Best wishes,
David Roppo
Relationship Coach
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